Burnt Wienie worthy: Where the heck is Dumfries?

Nominee: Elmer (Joe) Sprick
Nominator: Alverna Sprick Miller
Year: Unknown

It is a long way to Tipperary, but even a longer way to Dumfries, Minn., if one goes by Joe Sprick's directions.

On a recent night out, the clan was in Millers' van, headed out to dinner. All agreed on only one thing -- that the restaurant in Dumfries would be a good place to go.

But there seemed to be no agreement on how to get there. Several van passengers offered to map the route. The variety of ways to get there proved interesting, and offered much subject for debate.

Bill wanted to go through Zumbro Falls, as he knew that route and only that route. Most of us thought that was the long way around. Alverna wanted to go out the Thielman road and pick up Hwy. 60 at Scotoch Settlement (you are old if you know where that is!) for nostalgic reasons. Kate wanted to take us past the route where John Kirkwood lived as a child -- if she could find the right cutoff road. Joe wanted to go that way also, as it would take us past the farm where Stegemeyers used to lived. Bless their hearts, Mavis and Anna were content to let others make the big decisions.

After considerable chatter, it was decided that Joe could direct the driver, as he seemed quite confident of his skills along those lines. So we headed down Hwy. 61, then out on Wabasha County Rd. 4, past Hagedorn's Salvage, up Campground Hill, and turned left at O'Brien's Corner. All was going well. Alverna directed everyone's attention to the left for a spectacular view of Lake Pepin down Reilly's Coulee. (Later on, this evidence was introduced to try to pin the blame on Alverna for our late arrival in Dumfries, but there were no buyers.)

At any rate, all passengers, including Joe, the tour guide, missed gravel road 32 off to the right, which would have accomplished all three missions of the journey: A) it was the shortest road to Dumfries, B) it went past the farm where John Kirkwood lived as a child, and C) it went past the farm where Stegemeyers used to live, although the farm buildings are long gone now.

So, would you believe that we were entering the city of Wabasha, or at least the suburbs, when tour guide Joe realized that we were back on Hwy. 61, bound for Chicago? Not too much was said as we unanimously agreed to turn west on Hwy. 60 to get to Dumfries. (For the uninitiated, Dumfries is definitely southeast of our starting point.)

So, for making it a long way to Dumfries, I nominate Joe Sprick [pictured above during a walk on Lake Pepin, where it was easier to tell east from west] for the Burnt Wienie Award, for even though he has traveled the world, he had a hard time finding Dumfries the short way!